We used to play ‘Simon says‘ a lot when I was a child. Someone would lead and tell us what to do, like… “Simon says put your hands in the air.” And everyone’s hands went in the air. But if they didn’t say “Simon says” we were out. It was hard not to follow what another person was doing. It was almost like saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
As parents and grandparents, our children watch us very closely. It is the ultimate ‘Simon Says‘ game. Rather than just follow our words, children often follow our example. Much of who I am is directly related to the influence of my mom and dad. It is very important that parents and grandparents realize the impact of example on children.
2 Timothy 1 mentions a family. Paul is near the end of his life, shackled in a dark, cold prison. He pens this most personal letter to a young man, Timothy. Timothy, in all likelihood, took Paul’s place after his death. He called him “my beloved son.” This was a spiritual relationship. However, Paul mentions Timothy’s physical family, including his mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 1:1-5)
We know from Acts 16:1 that Timothy was the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer and a Greek man who was probably not. As Paul writes Timothy, we find some qualities that he possessed because they were passed down from his mother and grandmother.
1 – Tenderness (2 Timothy 1:4) – ‘being mindful of your tears’
One quality about Timothy that Paul points out is his tenderness… he cried. Timothy was not afraid to show emotion and this made a wonderful impression on Paul’s memory. Tenderness like this is cultivated by example rather than be teaching. Yet, due to cultural influences, we do not find tenderness honored, especially to boys.
Our culture says, “Big boys don’t cry.” We are to be tough, not tender. But toughness and tenderness are not mutually exclusive. Two of history’s manliest men, David and Jesus, displayed moments of great tenderness. David wept openly with his friend Jonathan. Jesus wept over the death of his friend Lazarus. Real men cry.
2 – Authenticity (2 Timothy 1:5) – ‘the genuine faith that is in you’
The word ‘genuine/sincere’ is from the Greek word anupokritos, meaning unhypocritical. Timothy’s faith was real. It was authentic. He was not a hypocrite. This was a quality that had been modeled to him by his mother and grandmother.
In 2 Timothy 3, Paul reminded Timothy that he was surrounded by fakes and phonies. But Paul encourages him to continue in living the faith he learned as a child (2 Timothy 3:14-15). This faith that he had did not start overnight. He had cultivated it for many years. And it started at home.
What kind of faith are you cultivating in your home – authentic faith or artificial faith? Fake fruit looks good, but lacks any taste or nourishment. You can make fake fruit overnight. But authentic faith is homegrown over a lifetime. We can give the facts, but it won’t find anything to hang on to if it isn’t translated at home. Live out your faith at home.
3 – Confidence (2 Timothy 1:6-7) – ‘the gift of God which is in you’
Paul reminds a probably somewhat intimidated Timothy about two very important things. He had a gift from God and that gift was not to be used timidly. Here Paul encourages Timothy by appealing to his strengths. Timothy got his opportunity through Paul, but it was God who gave him the strength to carry it out.
One of the blessings of having young children in your life is to see how God has given each of them unique talents, abilities, and strengths. One way we can give our children confidence is tor recognize what God is doing in them and encourage them to trust God to use them.
At the time of Paul’s writing, Timothy was going through a rough time. He was timid and fearful. But instead of focusing on the negatives, Paul gave positive encouragement.
It is easy to major on weaknesses of others, especially our children. But when we point out the strengths God has given them, it will give them the confidence to overcome those weaknesses. Are you equipping your children with strengths? Or do you berate them when they are negligent or fearful. Do you encourage them?
4 – Love (2 Timothy 1:7) – ‘spirit of …. love’
The word Paul uses for love is agape in the original Greek language. This word carries the idea of unselfishness. This is a word that is used for reaching out and doing something with nothing expected in return. It is done for the other person.
Where do you think Timothy learned this kind of love? Where is that kind of love learned? Where does a child see this king of love displayed in the flesh? Often it is from mom. In a mother who, without complaint, gets up at all hours of the night to take care of a sick child, a mother who tirelessly bakes and cleans and sews so another may be fed and clothed, a mother who goes the extra mile way past boredom to read the 100th time the child’s favorite book with the same enthusiasm as the first time. Nobody models God’s love like a mother.
Love is best displayed by God at the cross but is often exampled by parents. We learn love first at home.
5 – Self-control (2 Timothy 1:7) – ‘spirit of… sound mind’
The King James Version translates the Greek word, sophroneo, as ‘sound mind.’ This refers to thinking that is rationale and logical. It is thinking that is not controlled by emotion. This is why other translators have chosen the word self-control.
Discipline or self-control is another character quality that Timothy had. Children have little self-control. Correct behavior must be taught. Self control does not blossom in a child until he is much older.
Discipline must start young and be diligently and lovingly cultivated over the years. Then as an adult the child is able to do the right thing because it is right. Parents should lovingly discipline their children to follow the Lord.
You can read some of my other articles from The Family Game: Family Feud.