I have recently been involved in a ‘coaching’ training relationship with my good friend, Chuck Turner. In short, coaching is a recent method to help others grow in their life. Bob Logan said coaching is “the process of coming alongside a person to help them discover a greater agenda for their life and work, and to see that agenda become a reality.
Coaching is different than counseling and mentoring. Coaching asks specific questions to allow a person to unlock their own God-given potential. Coaching helps people be and do what God wants them to be and do.
Coaching incorporates asking great questions to allow a person to filter what God is doing in their life and what God wants to do in their life. My training is to be able to help someone in a personal relationship. But I discovered that coaching can be useful in about any situation to uncover some great ‘next steps.’
So, if you are ever with someone and want to really connect with what God is doing in their life, I suggest talking through four questions.
1. What can I celebrate with you today?
Few people get a chance to share their joys with others. Often we are burdened with what’s not working in our life. But this question will begin a conversation with what is working in our life.
2. What are you struggling with today?
Everybody’s going through something. Most people don’t want to hear your stuff, but when you have someone who wants to listen, it is a big encouragement. Be that person. Allow someone else to tell you what’s not working in their life.
3. What one thing can you do to improve your life today?
Every problem may have multiple solutions. Allow your friend to brainstorm various things they can do to improve their life. It may be in the area they are struggling with, or may be in some other area. But let them come up with one practical thing they can do to improve their life. This becomes a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-specific). To get the most out of this question, schedule a time to get together in the future and make sure this goal is being realized.
4. How can I pray for you?
Prayer is a powerful thing. Coaching is a wonderful method to help people make positive steps in their life. But when you introduce God into the relationship, the power multiplies. Pray for your friend and ask God to help them keep their goal.
One of the temptations for a coach is to help people solve their problems. A counselor relationship is best for that. Coaching helps people figure out their own solutions to their problems. Rather than pouring information and wisdom into a person, coaching draws these out of a person. We are more apt to keep our own goals than goals that others set for us.
I hope you can coach someone soon.
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