We live in a very angry world. More gentleness is definitely needed. Our personal relationships need gentleness. Is it possible that much of the stress we feel in our life is because we are not gentle?
Paul encourages gentleness in Philippians 4:5.
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”
I discovered 3 principles that will help you be more gentle.
Gentleness is a work in the heart.
Before gentleness can be professed, it must be possessed. It must begin within. Gentleness is a work of the Holy Spirit in your heart. Allow God to make you gentle.
You might argue that you can’t help your angry attitude. Rather than gentleness, rage builds in your heart. It feels almost uncontrollable. You may feel ‘That’s just the way I am.’
God can make you gentle. Ask Him to help you.
Gentleness is an example to others.
Paul commands you to ‘let others see your gentle character.’ But you might be fearful of interacting with others. After all, people can be very frustrating. Maybe you just don’t want to get involved with others.
But God is working in your life to build a gentle spirit. Part of His artistry in your heart is using others, even difficult people. So open up to others so they can see your gentleness in action. Even if you don’t feel very gentle, allow God to transform your anxiety into peace.
Gentleness is a reflection of Christ.
You might now realize how un-gentle you really are. That’s just being honest with yourself. But guess what? Jesus is gentle.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29.)
If you are a Christian, you have Jesus with you. He is near. As you interact with Jesus through prayer, Bible reading, and meditation, you will discover that His gentleness rubs off on you. And as you come to a consistent realization that ‘the Lord is near’ you will be more gentle in your interactions with others.
You might say, ‘But I’m not Jesus and I’m not perfect.’ That’s right. You aren’t Jesus, but you can become more like Him. And you aren’t perfect, but you can do better.
Remind yourself of Jesus’ presence throughout the day. Remember, as you treat others, it’s as if you are treating Jesus.
In his classic book, The Practice of Godliness, Jerry Bridges suggests 5 strategies for being gentle:
- Actively seek to make others feel at ease. Be sensitive to other’s opinions and ideas, welcoming opinion.
- Show respect for the personal dignity of the other person. When you need to change a wrong opinion, do so with persuasion and kindness rather than domination or intimidation.
- Avoid blunt speech and abrupt manner. Be sensitive to how others react to your words, considering how they may feel. When it is necessary to wound, also include encouragement.
- Don’t be threatened by opposition; gently instruct, asking God to dissolve the opposition.
- Do not belittle or degrade or gossip about a brother or sister who has fallen – instead grieve and pray for his repentance.
Maybe a children’s story will help our understanding of the strength of gentleness.
Once the Wind and the Sun were arguing. Each claimed to be a stronger. At last they agreed to have a test. “Here comes a traveller. Let’s see who can strip him of his coat,” said the Sun. The Wind agreed and chose to have the first turn. He blew in the hardest possible way. As a result , the traveller wrapped his coat even more tightly around him. Then it was the Sun’s turn. At first he shone very gently. So, the traveller loosened his coat from his neck. The sun went on shining brighter and brighter. The traveller felt hot. Before long he took off his cloak and put it in his bag. The Wind had to accept his defeat. It was the gentleness of the warmth of the sun that won the test of strength.
Nothing is as strong as gentleness.
You can read some of my other similar articles: Happy are the Gentle, How to stop a fight, The Day Jesus Got Mad, Principles of Gratitude.