Anger is a big problem in families and any relationship. Many people are forced to take Anger Management classes when their anger becomes uncontrollable. However, most people have a ‘mild’ grade of anger and never hear of the positive ways to cope with anger. So, I solicited some ideas from my social media friends, and the list is below. I hope it helps. They are not in any particular order.
1. Anger is a secondary emotion. Find the trigger that causes anger.
2. Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is more than a simple act. It is a process. One must forgive until the offense is no longer an offense.
3. Give the anger to God and forgive the one who offends you.
4. Separate the person who has offended you from the offense itself. When you forgive the offense, you can then love the person as God intended.
5. ANGER is a primary emotion. In other words, it is the “presenting problem”, but not the real problem.
6. Ask yourself – What am I angry about? Who am I angry at? Both might reveal a little of the cause (versus symptom) but if you genuinely wish to get past your anger – you are going to have to work harder at discovering the root cause(s).
7. Eventually anger problems come down to control. We get angry when we feel we have lost control of a person or situation.
8. Sometimes, actions and thoughts precede emotions (anger). But other times, emotions precede actions. Attempt to think opposite how you normally think – even it its forced and feels dumb. Then respond appropriately to the “new thoughts”. The Bible tells us “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
9. Anger is a God-given emotion (Eph. 4:26) Anger is not a sin in itself. What we do with it determines whether we sin.
10. Be aware that you are angry. Many people don’t even know they are angry.
11. Put first things first. Take your frustrations and anger to the Lord. He can handle it.
12. Accept responsibility for your anger.
13. Decide who (the Holy Spirit?) or what (the anger) is going to control you.
14. Evaluate your anger experience. Learn from the experience.