I’ve been married for 31 years and have 4 children all grown up and out of the house. I have seen plenty of family fights. And I didn’t like one of them. Yet, I started some of them. Others, I kept going long past they needed to. I wish I would have remembered some of the insights of Ephesians 4 that there are some things to do and some things not to do if we want to get along with others. In an earlier post I mentioned two: (1) Don’t Lie – Be Honest (v. 25), and (2) Don’t get Angry – Have Self-Control (v. 26). I want to mention 3 others.
1. Don’t Steal – Work to Give
“… steal no more: but… labor… to give to him that needeth” (EPHESIANS 5:28)
There are two types of attitudes in any relationship. A selfish attitude tries to take from others, while an unselfish attitude tries to give. Paul reminds us that we shouldn’t take or withhold from others what is theirs. We should work at making sure we are able to give. We don’t work so we can have more. But so we might be able to help others.
2. Don’t Tear Down with your Words – Build up with your Words
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying…” (EPHESIANS 5:29)
My mom used to say, ‘If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.’ It seems to have become very common to ‘talk smack.’ Insults have become a way of relating to others. However, even if we are joking, our words can hurt. Speak to others in such a way that what we say builds them up instead of tearing them down.
3. Don’t be Bitter – Forgive
“Let all bitterness… be put away from you…forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (EPHESIANS 5:31-32)
Bitterness is a settled hostility and hatred toward someone. Unresolved anger can lead to bitterness, and bitterness often leads to an explosion of wrath. The cause of bitterness is we cannot forgive people. We treat others the way Satan treats them. However, we should treat others the way God has treated us – with kindness and forgiveness.
There you go! Some great ideas on how to keep a fight from starting or continuing. Hope it helps in your family or any relationship you have. Often we just need a new perspective to see a situation from a different view. The wisdom of age gives us a wonderful ‘end of life’ perspective on all those irritants of early years. And sometimes we need a little outside help. I’m sharing one of my favorite music videos. It’s called ‘Waiting on a Woman.’ We can let things irritate us and start a fight, or we can look at it as a blessing. Your choice.